Avoidance of intimacy, avoidance of vulnerability, avoidance of rejection, avoidance of abandonment. All of them keep you from revealing your true self and therefore protect you from feeling the shame wounds from childhood. #love #avoidance #relationships #family #kids #parents #therapy #psychology #therapist #liberationhelen #mentalhealth #wellbeing #happy #reels | Helen Villiers LLB, PG Cert, MA
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FacebookHelen Villiers LLB, PG Cert, MA
People who are avoidant find emotional intimacy triggering and unsafe. They cope with this by being: distant, shut down, and hyper-independent. Avoidance (like all attachment styles) happens on a spectrum. The more they experienced betrayal, shaming, rejection, or abandonment growing up— the more the impulse will be to self focus. Unlike someone with anxious attachment— who soothes through reassurance and attachment to a partner, someone who’s avoidant soothes through fleeing and self reliance.
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It’s the same avoidance, just disguised as connection. Avoidants run from intimacy; anxious partners run from solitude. Both are escaping the same fear — the pain of sitting with themselves. Healing starts when you stop outsourcing your emotional safety and start building it within. When you stay with the feeling instead of running from it, that’s where freedom begins. If this spoke to you, it’s time to stop repeating the same attachment patterns and start rebuilding safety from the inside out.
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