With a trade war on the horizon, Mennonites across North America are looking for ways to keep out of the whole mess and preserve their pacifist values. “I’m thinking of going to the Conscientious ...

Of all the mysteries that have befallen the Mennonite community over the centuries, the most baffling is why Loewen is pronounced “Low-en” and Toews is pronounced “Taves.” For consistency they should ...

Darren Klippenstein, janitor at Fifth Mennonite Church in Grunthal, rushed to the scene this evening after he heard the Women’s Quilting Club had spent all evening “spilling the tea.” “We didn’t make ...

Area man Abe Friesen is under the impression that the specific type of Mennonites that he is familiar with, those who speak Low German, wear suspenders, forbid dancing and drinking, and complain about ...

After recently discovering the dark underbelly of Tesla CEO Elon Musk, area man Art Klippenstein is relieved to know he drives a car with absolutely no association with right-wing authoritarian ...

The Third Mennonite Church of Goshen has had a burned-out lightbulb for more than three months, all due to the fact that members could not agree on how and when and who should change the bulb. “So we ...

Less than a year after opening its doors, the Peavey Mart in Steinbach will be closing shop to be replaced by an empty Pizza Hut. “We were really hoping an empty Safeway store or empty Taco Bell might ...

Americans were outraged this week after it was announced that their beloved Gulf of Mexico was going to have a name change just to appease some liberal snowflakes in Washington. “It’s been called that ...

SANTA FE, NM In an executive order this afternoon, President Trump declared he was restoring the greatness of the nation by renaming New Mexico as New ‘Murica. “As of this day, we will have, a […] ...

SANTA FE, NM In an executive order this afternoon, President Trump declared he was restoring the greatness of the nation by renaming New Mexico as New ‘Murica. “As of this day, we will have, a […] ...

Area woman Diane Klippenstein has a longstanding tradition of writing “please delete if not allowed” before every single social media post. “Whether I’m selling my canned beets or inquiring what time ...

On a recent trip to Germany this winter, all the hearty schnitzels and sausages had Canadian tourist Pete Dueck, 47, in a constant need to break wind. “And the first thing I noticed about this country ...